A true account from Belltinker...exploring her sub side. The male she refers to is me.

It was a typical Sunday, I was hungover and feeling really bad. The only thing that turned it from really horrible was the anticipation that a guy I met online, a complete stranger was arriving at 9pm with the intention to fuck me. His instructions where detailed ...

"See you on sunday night at 9pm....as per our messenger chat I will arrive, undress, prepare myself...then enter your bedroom. As agreed you are to remain silent until such time as my cock enters your ass. I plan on fucking your throat, your pussy and your ass. I plan on taking complete control and pushing your limits.
Your code word for panic and for me to stop is COKE COLA. If you say this I will stop immediately and all sexplay will cease. Any other sound or protest will be ignored and infact punished by a firm hand. Be mindful of the use of this code word. It will end all games and it is unlikely you will see me again.

I am a genuine switch...enjoy the attached reading.
Feel free to ask any question or make any request via return email prior to 12 noon Sunday.
Under no circumstance are you to cancel our 9pm appointment."

I was totally petrified ...... I wanted to see if I was completely submissive though.

I contemplated cancelling and sending a message saying it was all over, I couldn't do it!

At 8pm I was soooo petrified my normal high level of horniness had shut off, i was now soooo scared I couldn't be horny ......... it felt like something was missing .....

Right on 9pm my phone rang and I was given the instructions "Put a blindfold on and sit naked on the edge of your bed, hands on your knees and legs spread wide" I had to get him to repeat the instructions my ears had a strange whooshing sound in them. The house was dark except for the lamp in my room to light the way for this stranger. I heard him enter the house and I wanted to run, he was walking slowly down the hall it seemed to take forever to get to the room.

He was standing in front of me telling me to open my legs wider, then he went to the end of the bed leaving me there blindfolded and all was silent ........ then strange noises ..... a bag opening, lots of rustling, things being lined up on the foot of my bed. Then he was undressing, my heart was pounding sooo hard it was ringing in my ears .......... then some things were lost in a blur of fear!!


.............. the blur lifts and I am almost on the edge of the bed, laying on my back, his fingers buried deep and he is rubbing me hard, I feel the pressure building, I know I am gonna squirt any moment now and when I do I am gonna spasm for a bit, my head raises off the bed ...... he tells me "Put your head down now!!" Its harder than he thinks to do that after squirting but I do it ........ I am still sooooo petrified but too stubborn to use the word. A friends advice ringing thru my ears "You don't wanna be in the nursing home looking back going why didn't I try that??"

Theres that blur again ........ and now there is his voice saying "Get to the edge of the bed, feet on the floor ...... " and a lot of words just lost in the ringing from my ears. I am standing at the edge of my bed and I can feel the wet patch where I squirted and then I feel his cock slide into my pussy, he grabs a pillow and puts it around my hips and then uses it like a set of reins and starts fucking me hard, my knees are pushing painfully into the wooden edging on my bed but the pain stops the ringing in my ears so its a welcomed pain. I start moaning and he tells me to shut up. Its hard to control the noises ...... its like holding something back and the concentration takes away from the pure pleasure.

He tells me to get on the bed on all fours, he starts fucking me hard again with no noise. I wanna just release and enjoy but I am concentrating sooooo hard on not making a noise I am missing bits that my body loves to feel. He takes his cock out of my pussy and lubes my ass, he pushes his cock in and waits, then starts to fuck me, I can make noise so now I can trully enjoy ..... he starts off slow and builds up the pace getting harder. Theres a blur again and I am flat on the bed holding a vibrator to my clit while he fucks my ass, I cum hard and sense he is about to as well. He pulls out and i lay there, he takes the vibe away from me.

He starts packing up, I roll toward him reaching for the blindfold he tells me "Lay back down don't move" My heart races again ...... theres to be more ...... he asks me a question but it makes no sense in my mind and I answer, then I feel bad and answer again. I am still laying there contemplating what is next and then he is walking out the door, I jump up to see my stranger but he is gone!!!

I sit in on the lounge feeling strangely empty ...... I come to the realisation that I am NOT totally submissive, that I like the game to end at the conclusion of sex and then I like to bask in the afterglow of good sex. It makes me realise that there is so much more to SEX than sex, there is an emotional connection that is made with that person, it doesn't take away from the experience but enhances the experience. It doesn't mean I have fallen in love with the person just cause I like to kiss and cuddle them after it means that I feel trust for that person and that they have the respect so see my needs out to the end ........ but that wasn't the game this time it was to see how sub I was.

Thanks to a stranger I know now that I am not truly submissive, that I am capable of kissing and cuddling a guy with out falling in love and losing my heart to him!!! It also showed me that I do like my naughty side but that I have a very tender side too!! I know I can have more experiences in life but I know now that this experience has been crossed off my "To Do List" and I don't need to do it again.

I love role playing and all that goes with it but I think for someone not truly submissive then the fear really did take away from the hot sex I am used to!!

WAS IT WORTH IT ......... NO I DON'T THINK SO!!! Am I glad I went thru it ....... Yes I am!!! Will I do it again ....... maybe not!!!!

But thank you for the experience, thank you for helping me understand me that little bit better!!!

xoxox

Feel free to review my profile and make contact if any of the aabove pleases you.
The Pillowman